So I am finding that today brought ALL new (and the days not even over yet) problems. Run down...we start the day with an arguement that ends in something being said that hurt me extremely! Then we move to me talking to my dad about summer plans...then we continue on to my Love not showing up for our skype date.
Monday, February 21, 2011
A New Anger?
Posted by ayla_music at 5:58 PM 0 comments
The Wrong Impression
First I have to get this out of the way...STUPID BOY LEARN YOUR PLACE!!!! Ur just his friend...and I'm glad ur good enough to protect him!!! DANG IT! Why is it ok that u make me feel bad?
Posted by ayla_music at 11:50 AM 0 comments
Sunday, February 20, 2011
F F F F
I hate this day! I hate HATE HATE ALL OF THIS! WHY WHY WHY WHY!! ITS NOT OK!!! ITS NOT! I HATE THIS! I HATE IT! Why would anyone say that to anyone else! WHY?? HOW IS THAT OK!!! ITS NOT! ITS NOT! This is the worst day of my life! And there are more to come!
Posted by ayla_music at 11:23 PM 0 comments
What To Do Now?
I have this problem...mmk...so I wanna go to ___ for the summer to work in both the deaf and Hispanic area's learning about the cultures and immersing myself in those cultures but my father is a problem. Because of some issues with my Love and decisions we made together my father is not that huge a fan of my Love. So in this case I am at a lose. I'm in college and I should be breaking away from my father...but at the same time..we just got to know each other in these last few years and I don't want to destroy that relationship.
Posted by ayla_music at 9:55 PM 0 comments
Sad Now
My amazing Love read my last blog and when asked what his thoughts were he said, "I'm glad you have a good day!" I was hoping to talk about it or something...see if we couldn't actually agree on something...but again...it's thinking about the future and thats not what he likes to do! It makes me very sad that I have little to look forward too because he doesn't wanna talk about anything. And since we have made plans just a little..meaning he told me what we are doing...he prob won't cause it would mean that he would be stuck. And he doesn't like to be stuck! So marriage would be put off! But unless there was a good reason for him putting it off...and it better not be that he didn't have the money to buy a ring because he can buy pokemon games and all that but not a ring...then I am not sure I would stay. Why keep going if he would be too scared to want to be with me. It's a trap run!
Posted by ayla_music at 12:12 AM 0 comments
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Not Sure About This
So well today..yea...it was today! I had a few hard talks with two friends and a good talk with my Love. He even sent me a picture yesterday that I made as my background to my phone and I kept looking at it all day! It made my heart skip a beat every time I looked at it! I'm trying hard to be a good girlfriend and just let him be him at college but sometimes I just want to steal him away for a weekend and keep in forever! Maybe go somewhere rent a hotel and just lay there with him! Thats it...I would honestly be content just laying there! I mean I wanna just be with him! But I can't! He likes his new freedom! So I have to live with it and PRAY the world doesn't end in 2012...i want to get married to my Love and start our marriage have kids and watch them grow! That would make me so very happy! And that is what I pray for.
Posted by ayla_music at 11:16 PM 0 comments
Friday, February 18, 2011
You Just Called Me What?
I AM NOT MY MOM! I AM NOT MY MOM! I AM NOT MY MOM!!!
Posted by ayla_music at 6:47 PM 0 comments
Learning Two New Things
So today I learned two new things about myself...and a sad thing...so first sad to get it over with then....HAPPY/Interesting.
Posted by ayla_music at 11:15 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Fan-Freaking-tastic!
Great, on the TWO days I really need my boyfriend I was, AT FIRST, only able to talk to him one of those two days (thursdays) and NOW...OOO NOW, fun...I don't get to skype him at all! The time he WAS going to skype me, he said was his free time of which I became REPLACED by something else he commited to BECAUSE I GOT HIM INVOLVED in this and encouraged him to go for leaderdship and NOW now I regret it, not really fully, but I hate that I was so easily replaced because that is his free time! Yep deff don't feel important! Actaully, I feel like dirt! I had a pretty much NOT upset with my boyfriend blog just a few mins ago and then this!
Posted by ayla_music at 10:39 PM 0 comments
Painfully Real
Well today started out sort of bad...I was late to work. I don't know what it is about working at this daycare that makes me want to not ever be on time but I need that money...so I can NOT get fired! Grr to me! It was a long day of work topped with NO NAP after work, instead my wonderful roomie and I made our way to Kroger to get food. One thing I did find important is this...
Posted by ayla_music at 9:40 PM 0 comments
Monday, February 14, 2011
Do You Feel What I Feel
So, my V-day kind of sucked. I really needed to feel important from my Love and instead it was like another day for him. He tired for an hour then he got hunger (saw that coming)! They say you are suppose to up you last V-day and this kind of downed it...but we spent the weekend together.
Posted by ayla_music at 9:45 PM 0 comments
Sunday, February 13, 2011
What Valentines Day is Today!
So I guess I feel like explaining why I hate Valentines Day so much! And really it comes down to one thing.
Posted by ayla_music at 10:39 PM 0 comments
Hopes Can Be Dashed
Posted by ayla_music at 7:17 PM 0 comments
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Discontentment?
I have just finished reading my bible study with Girlfriends In God and they talked about the fact that God gives you discontent with the things in your life that he doesn't have planned for you....and I was thinking...
Posted by ayla_music at 10:09 PM 0 comments
Don't Be So Pushy
I realized that when I want something I do this...
Posted by ayla_music at 8:52 PM 0 comments
Monday, February 7, 2011
The Thought Process of A Surprise
So yesterday night I was at a pretty low mood! I mean I really hated the fact that I was going to be spending the weekend before and the day of Valentines Day by myself without my amazing boyfriend! SUCK!
Posted by ayla_music at 8:21 PM 0 comments
Friday, February 4, 2011
It's all GONE!
So I realized that I SUCK with money! I mean really, once I get married my amazing husband will HATE me. I am really bad with money!
Posted by ayla_music at 1:32 PM 0 comments
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
A Broken Heart to a Happy Heart
So, today was bad...really bad.
Posted by ayla_music at 12:32 AM 0 comments
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Frustration
We are all clouded by the shadows of those times where there is nothing but anger.
Posted by ayla_music at 10:49 PM 0 comments
I'm Scared
At this moment I am sitting here wondering....
Posted by ayla_music at 6:50 PM 0 comments
A New Year Plus A Few Days
So this is my first blog in a while and I'm pumped! I have TONS of stories I wanted to post that not many people would read and now I FOUND THIS BLOG and I can Do So! W00t w00t
Posted by ayla_music at 5:40 PM 0 comments