So, today was bad...really bad.
It started off with my asking my love if he wanted to marry me and if he was going to marry me..two VERY different things. According to him, in his tiredness he said partial truth. The reason I fully believe him is because he is a MUCH more selfish person when he is tired than when he is fully awake.
So I spent my whole day royally PISSED off that I had been lied to for a whole year. He told me that we were going to be married and called me his wife. Then all of a sudden in his tiredness he says he WANTS to marry me but he THINKS we will be married and I flipped. I mean I can't STAND being lied to...not at all!
So I am going through all the ways to break up with him in a mature way that didn't involve choking him all day! I mean I had a bad BAD day because of this. So I decided I will talk to him one more time before getting crazy...but first...prayer again. I had to just talk to God...just tell him things, ideas, frustrations, and so much more. YES he already knows everything...but he DOES love us talking to him! So I did....
Then I talk to Cris later that night...he said I caught him off guard in the morning and he was tired all day...so he really didn't read what I wrote well or understand it because of his tiredness. And in many ways I can agree with that because I usually see him tired and mean! So on the one hand...the one thing I needed him to tell him was said! On the other hand, I spent the day PISSED to find it was a misunderstanding!
I'm very selfish...I mean...I always need things on my time and if I had waited to talk to him till that night instead of the morning I might have had a better day!
Either way...I was told he WANTS to and WILL marry me..here is PRAYING that its true! FAITH is believing without seeing...so I am having faith in the man I say I love!
My day is FILLED with emotions...deff. hate being a girl most days!
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