You Just Called Me What?

I AM NOT MY MOM! I AM NOT MY MOM! I AM NOT MY MOM!!!

She is a great person who made mistakes in her life. Ones that added to her not being that great a mother...JUST SO YOU KNOW...she is trying to make up for that now. But in the past she didn't and that is where I take the ANGER from!

By saying I am my mom, you are disrespecting me! When my mom was my age she made alot ofmistakes that caused her to have me and my brother. She was NOT ready to have children and she honestly never grew up till recently! My mom was still a teenager at heart doing things for herself and for her! She did what she had to to keep us feed but she always acted like a teenager! Part of the reason I really dislike adults who act like teens...its just not smart! And I take FULL offense to someone saying I am my mom.

When my mom was my age she had two kids and was married to someone she fought with more than loved. She dropped out of high school and did not go to college! Understand me right now when I say, I am not her at this age! I do NOT have kids, I am not married (although that I wouldn't mind if it was with my Love), and I am trying hard to grow up so when I do have kids I will make sure they have a happy home life with happy parents and a good home in one place (perferably, this also depends on where God sends us!) My mom did her best to keep us to a standard living but she ALWAYS cared for the guy more than her own kids, WHOM SHE BIRTHED!!! She always put him first and then herself! I often wondered if she had to chose between us and her life...which would she chose? I never answered the question...I could never grasp which end she stood on! When I have kids, I want the best for them. I want to have a home in one place, a husband I LOVE and will show I love everyday, NOT everything they want but within reason things that will make them happy but healthy happy not spoiled (no spoiled kids for me!) and I want to be a mother who puts them first then her husband. God comes first, then kids, then husband. I know my husband will need to be switched a few times but for the most part, if my Love and I get married then we both agree the kids come first. I will do my absolute hardest to GRADUATE from COLLEGE and get a job that will allow my family to be happy and healthy!

FURTHERMORE....I have a HUGE problem with disrespectfulness and I have TWO examples of those today!

ONE! A friend came into my room and gave a book I let her borrow back. I asked her if she would like to go to the mall with us and she hesitated...she asked if her roomie was going and when I said yes, she quickly agreed to go with us. Well apparently she decided NOT to come and did NOT mention that to me! AT ALL! So I was under the impression she was coming...till I read her facebook status! THAT MADE ME ANGRY!

TWO! I was teasing my roomie at the mall about the fact that she "spit/the wind took her spit" on my Love's white jacket and she had the nerve to say I was acting like an IDIOT! BIG MISTAKE!!! MAJORLY! Now I call myself stupid and dumb and even an idiot sometimes...but thats me! Its ok....someone else getting angry at me and calling me an idiot...yep that is NOT ok! So I will not be chatting with her for a while! There is NO REASON TO EVER CALL SOMEONE SOMETHING LIKE THAT....NO MATTER HOW UPSET YOU ARE!

And to top everything off, I wanted so badly to wear some of the clothes at the mall but im too fat and my boobs are too big that I just looked STUPID in them! So my day, needless-to-say, was actually pretty sucky when you add in the fact that instead of me getting a valentines day flower or gift my amazing boyfriend tries to encourage his CLOSEST friend by sending HIM a rose! Jealous...yes! Sure it was cheaper than buying me flowers or anything but really, I keep getting pushed aside for HIM! Really! Now I feel NOT important and kind of PISSED! That was my day friends! Crappy RIGHT?